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Marriage is the highest
institution of learning in
the world. In fact, it is an
institution
where the highest wisdom (divine wisdom) and highest knowledge
(knowledge of
God’s Word) are needed for success to be attained.
The fact that is well
established is that there is
no perfect marriage after the first marriage (Adam’s and Eve’s marriage)
was
corrupted in the garden of Eden. Since Satan had successfully programmed
problems in the first marriage, there has never been a marriage without a
problem. What makes a difference is the couples’ attitude to problems
and the
maturity with which the problems are resolved.
Different
Attitudes
to Problem
Couples can treat problems in
any of the following
ways:
First, they can
endure the problems without making any attempt to solve them. This is
not a
good approach because it results to tension. If such tension is allowed
to
build up, it can break the marriage anytime the level of tolerance of
either of
the couples is exceeded.
Second, they can
overlook the problem because they fear that their relationship will be
affected
by talking on the problem. This is a mistake. Problems in the home are
like
fire which needs to be put off as soon as it is detected. Anyone who
detects
fire in his apartment and goes to bed instead of putting it off will not
only
lose his property but his own very life is in great danger. The problem
detected in your marriage and is ignored constitutes destructive flame
that can
easily consume your marriage.
Third, they can
attempt to solve the problem. This is a good approach. However, the fact
that
the couple decides to solve the problem doesn’t mean that solution will
come.
It all depends on the approach adopted in solving the problem.
Problem cannot be solved when
husband and wife
shift or apportioning blames between each other. This will create more
and
complex problems rather than solving the existing problem.
At times, couples attempt to
solve their problems
but they fix a future date for it. This too is not a good approach
because once
a problem is detected in the marriage and it is left unsettled over a
period of
time (even a day), it opens door for other more complex problems which
may
eventually create impassable gulf between the husband and wife. Even if
it is
going to cost you as long as four hours in the night before you sleep,
it is
far better to solve the problem once and for all.
Watch it, don’t sleep with
fire burning at a corner
of your roof.
Satan’s
Schemes Unfolded
The best way to solve a
problem detected in the
marriage is for the husband and wife to come together immediately and
take time
to resolve it amicably. The following facts need to be understood in
resolving
marital problem.
First, you need
to know that Satan is the author of all marital problems. He uses either
of the
husband or wife or a third party (including inanimate objects) to
introduce
problems into marriages. Hence, couples should look beyond the vessels
through
which the problem is introduced and see the unseen forces working behind
the
scene.
Second, you
should know that Satan always magnify problems beyond their limit. He
does this
to create fear in the hearts of the couples. Fear leads to self-defeat
because
it makes the situation looks hopeless to the couples.
I will like to stress that no
problem is stronger
than God, the Author and Sustainer of marriage. When you notice a
problem in
your marriage, refuse to look at it. Instead, look unto God, the
Solution to
all marital problems. Looking unto problem creates fear and frustration
while
looking unto God creates faith to overcome the problem.
Third, you need
to know that Satan works on the aggrieved party to believe that once
his/her
spouse has been instrumental to such a problem, it means that he/she
does not
love him/her again. This arouses bitterness which makes such a party to
withdraw to his or her shell. This automatically affects the
communication line
between them. This leads to tension and eventually divorce could be seen
as the
only way out of the problem.
What the husband and wife
should always hold on to
is that no one could have deliberately done something that can provoke
his/her
spouse. Those who may deliberately provoke their spouse are operating
under the
influence of Satan, hence, they need the sympathy and prayer of their
spouses.
Fourth, you need
to understand that in the time of crisis, Satan always weaken the faith
of
husband and/or wife. Hence, he will direct them to adopt extra biblical
method
of solving the problem. For example: they may believe that their problem
can
only be solved through elemental or fetish things. This makes some to
fall into
the hand of fake/commercial prophets/ministers who will exploit the
situation
and make merchandise of them. I have heard a situation where the so
called
‘prophet of God’ told a man to divorce his wife if he is to prosper in
life.
I will like to emphasise here
that any little
addition you make with prayer in the name of Jesus can never give
permanent
solution to your problem. It is either the problem is momentarily
stopped or it
is exchanged with another terrible problem.
I have discovered that what
some couples need is
counselling and prayer and their problem will be solved. But instead for
such
people to go for counselling, they will be going from prophet to prophet
from
one crusade or prayer mountain to another until their faith in God is
put off
because of confusion they have in the course of looking for solution to
their
problems.
Husband and wife should adopt
the principle of
collective responsibility in solving their marital problem. In actual
sense,
the aggrieved party may contribute directly or indirectly to the
problem. It is
when problem is viewed from this perspective that it can easily be
solved.
Don’t
Give Up
Are you facing problems in
your marriage? Have you
been trying to solve them? Have they defied solutions? Don’t give up.
Try
again. Make up your mind that you will keep on trying until the problem
is
resolved. Meanwhile, do not allow bitterness toward your spouse in your
heart.
Again do not have the mind that if your marriage cannot work, you will
opt out
of it. All these will weaken your fighting spirit. You should know your
authority over Satan and how to use it. (Mark 16:17; Luke 10:19; 1 John
4:4).
You should see your marriage
as a plane being piloted
by you and your spouse and Satan as a hijacker. If you allow Satan to
hijack
the plane of your marriage and it crashes, none of you even your
children can
survive it. This is the more reason you
must
fight with your life to save your marriage.
Above all, let love reign
supreme in your home.
Through love you will bear with your spouse while solution is being
sought to
your marital problem. Have faith in God. Invite Him into your home He
will help
you to keep your marriage in order as long as you are still living.
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