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Love could be described as
the fuel that generates
power for family to move smoothly on the divine path. In case of
automobile,
the fuel needs to be refilled on regular basis or else the vehicle will
be grounded.
This is applicable to marriage love. It needs to be refilled regularly
so that
the family can keep on moving smoothly without friction.
Basis of
Marriage Love
If marriage love is to last,
it should be
unconditional right from its conception. It should not be based on
money, sex,
beauty, material wealth, achievement or any of mundane things. All these
things
are not stable. They change with time or prevailing circumstances.
Hence, any
couple that builds their love on them can never have a stable marriage.
Marriage love must be
growing. It is nourished by
affection, care, good communication, mutual trust, mutual acceptance,
etc. In
the home where these things are present, love will reign supreme there
and such
a home becomes a heaven on earth.
Need for
Examination
As marriage love has the
potential to grow, it can
also diminish and fade away gradually. If it starts to diminish and the
couple
does not check it on time, it will be fully exhausted. Once it is
exhausted,
there will be a lot of unmanageable conflicts and problems in the home.
If care is not taken, once
settled home could break
down and the husband and wife will fall apart. The house will turn to
house of
commotion. When this happens, it will definitely affect the children in
such a
home.
The only thing that can
forestall this problem is
for the husband and wife to examine themselves regularly if they are
still in
love.
Symptoms
of Fading Love
When marital love is fading
away, the following
symptoms could be discerned:
- Intolerance.
- Lose of
interest in one another.
- Suspicion or lack of mutual
trust.
- Breakdown of communication
between husbands and wives.
- Bitterness resulted from
remembrance of past offences of each
other.
- Use of abusive and/or harsh
words on each other.
- Complaints about each other’s
conduct or behaviour.
- Withdrawal to oneself as a
means of protecting one’s interest.
All the above create tension
in the home. If the
tension is allowed to rise without check, one day it will explode and
throw the
family apart.
Remedy
It needs to be stressed that
God is the Author of
Marriage. Hence, He is the only one that can repair any damaged marriage
and
bring it back to the path of love.
Have you detected any of the
above symptoms in your
marriage? Then take it to God in prayer. When there are crises in your
home,
you should learn how to talk to God on them first before you invite your
spouse
for dialogue. Pray together and ask for the spirit of humility and
understanding heart. This will pave way for amicable settlement of the
issue without
causing any damage in the home.
However, you should avoid
shifting blame on each
other. Everyone should accept blame for his negative attitude that
brings
crisis into the family.
When any of the symptoms of
fading love is
detected, you should neither overlook it nor postpone its settlement. In
fact,
any unresolved problem in the family breeds another problem which
generates
tension in such a family. By the time the home is beset with myriad of
unresolved problems, it might not be easy for couples to discover their
love
again or if they discover it, it might not be as deep as before.
I will like to conclude by
stressing the need for
you to forgive your spouse no matter the wrong he/she has committed
against
you. This will give you an opportunity to put the devil to shame when he
attacks the family in a subtle way.
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