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FACTORS AGAINST SUCCESSFUL COURTSHIP

By Lawrence K. Ayodele

The following factors work against a successful courtship: 

1.  Indoctrination: Some ministers have successfully convinced the members of their denominations that they cannot marry a person outside their denominations. This is against the principle of one Lord one body. Also, some churches have placed undue restrictions on those in courtship. They will restrain them from having opportunity to meet and talk together on issues. They are not allowed to ascertain each other’s family background, aspiration and some other critical issues. This is the major reason why most Christians are only enduring their marriages whereas they are supposed to enjoy them. 

2.  Pressure to get married: Some people rushed to marriage because of the following reasons: hostility in the home, competing with friends and juniors, old age, unexpected pregnancy, fear of being jilted, pressure from parents, seeking the way to avoid fornication and achievement. All the above are not good reasons to rush into marriage. Whoever rushes into marriage based on any of the above factors may live a life of sorrow. 

3.  Lack of good counselling. 

4.  Inducement of partner with money, gifts, sex, job etc. This leads to building marriage on wrong foundation. 

5.  Lack of salvation experience: A natural without a salvation experience person cannot get clear leading of God on God’s will for him/her. He/She cannot undertake sin-free courtship. In fact, he/she has not gotten the virtues that can pave way for a meaningful courtship. 

6.  Inability to seek the face of God for a suitable partner. 

7.  Failure to accept God’s choice because of certain disabilities, ailments or weaknesses. 

8.  Choosing a partner based on sentimental reasons. 

9.  Hypocrisy or lack of openness.
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